22 November 2011

'Twas a Night in November: The Great Zombie Turkey Holiday Poem

'Twas a Night in November or The Great Zombie Turkey

‘Twas a night in November, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
For they knew that tomorrow the humans would feast
On the flesh and the offal of many a beast!

The children were nestled all snug in their beds
Unaware that tomorrow they all would be fed
Roast carcass and corpses, by their parents with glee
Who had just settled down to a nice cup of tea.

When out on the lawn there arose a great scream
And they went to the window and saw quite a scene
Their neighbor, with wounds that were very acute,
With a zombie-fied goose in a rapid pursuit!

The moon on the crest of the new-fallen snow
Made the blood shimmer as it started to flow
The neighbor collapsed as the gawkers just stared
And suddenly came a great noise...from downstairs!

In the cupboards and oven and refrigerator
Their meal was alive! (They should have catered)
As they scrambled to get to the children in bed
A great zombie turkey flew right at their heads!

Now chickens! Now piglets! Now ghostly veal calves!
They all limped up the stairs with a terrible laugh
Their skin was crisped up and they had pieces missing
And their zombie breath stank, as they all began hissing

"Thanksgiving, you call it! This murderous meal!
Did you ever think about how we might feel?!"
The humans were cornered, they had no escape!
And the zombies advanced, and the eaters were ATE!

The undead creatures were not without grace
So they spared the children their parents' dark fate
But Timmy and Sally would not be the same
As the zombies withdrew, they began to feel...shame?

Yes, shame! For they finally realized their wrongs!
They'd gone along with this meat-eating too long!
Their parents had stuffed themselves night after night
Without thought to the animals, and their cruel plight

The zombies' revenge had been grisly, it's true
But could anyone argue that it was not due?
As they pondered that thought, another came up:
If meat wasn't allowed, then how would they sup?!

On cue, the great zombie turkey appeared!
She said to the children, "Please, be not afeared -
You need not eat us, to be satiated,
Just look at this wonderful meal we've created!"

In the kitchen they came on a wondrous sight
The zombies were gathered but they felt no fright
For heaped on the table were so many flavors
Of vegetable dishes that begged to be savored!

They ate with the zombies until each plate was clean
Not a morsel was left, not one tiny bean!
The great zombie turkey did all of the dishes
And sent the children to bed with feathery kisses.

As they cleaned up the parents (it was quite a mess)
The zombies reflected on the night's success
Although Timmy and Sally were now on their side
There was still so much work to be done nationwide!

So if for Thanksgiving, you plan to prepare
A meat-tacular feast, I suggest you take care
To build up your defenses and be ready to feud
With the great zombie turkey - and her murderous brood!

Happy Vegetarian Thanksgiving everyone!

Jane Schlech
Jane was This Dish Is Veg's first contributor. She is passionate about animal welfare and vegetarianism/veganism. Follow Jane on her blog and Twitter.

Photo credit: cc: .flickr.com/photos/mema_nh