UPDATE 6/16: Opera singer involved in Trader Joe’s throwdown acquitted of charges
Two females, obviously not using their own “noodles,” came to blows over a package of vegan Thai food with tofu recently in the frozen foods section of the manhattan Trader Joe’s.
Marcella Caprario, a 37-year-old mom and amateur mezzo soprano slapped Dr. Cathleen London, a family practitioner and triathlete in the face when the two scuffled over the package of Thai food while other family members looked on. The case was to go before the Manhattan Criminal Court where both have hired lawyers to defend their right to parry for Pad Thai.
Apparently, Caprario’s husband, Bill, was reaching for the package when London’s teenage son got in the way and the fight ensued. "Not that we're condoning slapping people, but this was justified, reasonable force," said Caprario's lawyer, Mark Bederow.
Caprario, who also teaches grade school English, said the doctor’s son intentionally got in her husband’s way as he tried to wrangle the noodles out of the frozen foods case and when her husband complained out loud to her, London charged them and the slap occurred.
Prosecutors took pity on the hungry singer and originally just charged her with misdemeanor assault and then lowered it to harassment and finally attempted harassment. Caprario has rejected each plea, however, and will fight before a judge for the right to slap others when yummy vegan vittles are involved.
We understand the urge to merge with the nearest portion of Pad Thai, ladies, but please, veganism includes non-violence. Next time, whip up your own batch at home and save yourselves serious time and money.