25 October 2010

Obesity epidemic strikes its newest victim, pumpkins

There is a new casualty in America’s obesity epidemic – pumpkins. Last week an 1810 pound pumpkin was declared as the world’s heaviest by the Guinness World Records, beating out the previous record holder by 85 pounds.

The pumpkin arrived in New York City last week to appear on Live with Regis and Kelly, and to make an appearance at the New York Botanical Garden along with several other obese pumpkins.

Researchers at The Center for Pumpkin Obesity are alarmed at the proliferation of pudgy pumpkins and say low self esteem is a contributing factor. “People only pay attention to pumpkins around the holidays, the rest of the year they are neglected, even though they are highly nutritious and full of fiber,” explained a researcher.

Additionally, the ever increasing media attention to the growing girth of gourds encourages pumpkins to pack on the pounds.

“That fat pumpkin gets to appear on Regis and Kelly and I’m stuck here is this dirty patch,” said Polly the pumpkin, from the Great Pumpkin Patch in Parsippany New Jersey. “Last night a squirrel peed on me!”

Researchers are also pressing health officials to consider a ban on bite size Halloween candy, which is now available year round. “It’s impossible to eat just one of those darn things! Before you know it, the whole bag is gone!” said a researcher while picking a nougat out of his teeth.

“Um, I don’t know where those came from,” claimed Polly the pumpkin, referring to several empty candy wrappers lying in the dirt. “It was the squirrel!”

Robin Lawless | @robmlaw
Robin lives in NYC with her cat Maggie where she follows a vegetarian lifestyle, practices yoga, and volunteers at Catskill Animal Sanctuary. Follow Robin on Facebook

Photo credit: cc: flickr.com/photos/xtrarant